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GASHCON 2015
‍*it is gashcon 2015* ‍ ‍*the one day a year the brotherhood meets* ‍*taking place in san antonio texas* ‍*sold out on opening day* ‍*our story begins with none other than our great hero gashon cansaker and his loyal friend kahar* Gashon: Wow I can't believe we sold out o_o Kahar: Who the fuck are these people anyway? Gashon: I have no fucking idea. ‍*a price cosplayer in a 245 shirt runs up to kahar* cosplayer: OMG ATOM CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH Kahar: what you think I'm THAT NIG- I mean yeah sure ‍*kahar writes "waturmelon" on the cosplayer's shirt with a green sharpie* cosplayer: OMG THANKS ‍*the cosplayer runs off into the distance never to be seen again* Gashon: lmao that actually just happened ‍*reed begins to talk over the speakers* Reedman: Attention all Brothers! Please report to the auditorium immediately for a Q&A session! ‍ ‍*everyone starts screaming in joy* Kahar: shit we better get moving while we still have time to get in there ‍*they go to the auditorium and sit at a booth with Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin, Boba, Kane, and Oreo* audience: BRO-THER-HOOD! BRO-THER-HOOD! BRO-THER-HOOD! *cheering begins* Reedman: Thank you, thank you. *cheering dies* So who's ready for some QUESTIONS! AND! ANSWERS! ‍*more cheering for 30 seconds* Reedman: All right. First I pick.... You! *reedman points to a guy wearing a batman mask with "O_O" written on it" cosplayer #2: Jeulin, if you could be one superhero, who would it be? ‍*the entire room goes silent in dumbfoundment* Jeulin:... I would be batman... ‍*two awkward minutes of silence* Reed: ALL RIGHT, I CHOOSE.... YOU! *points to a guy in a fish suit* cosplayer #3: Jay, who is better at minecraft, you or Invisi? Jay: Clearly, it's- Price: BELIEVE ME I'VE PLAYED WITH THIS GUY AND IT'S INVISI Atom: IT'S RETARDED HE TRIED TO BUILD A TREE YOU DON'T BUILD TREES YOU BREAK THEM Reed: Lmao. Anyway, I pick you! *points into the sky* Price: lol get it because he picked invisi ‍*right where he is pointing a man with a jetpack suddenly appears into reality* ‍*the crowd screams* Invisi: Dylan, I have a question for you. How much would you sacrifice for victory? Dylan: Isn't that a quote from CWA? Invisi: *vanishes* Gashon: hahaha.... that was a joke right? Jay: *nervously* yeah... Invisi: *over speakers*: Oh, I assure you, this is no joke, and by night's end, you, your fans, and all of your brothers will be dead. Tick, tock. atom: shit n‍igga Kahar: NIGG‍A WHAT U SAY NIG‍GA NIGG‍A BITCH NIG‍GA NI‍GA NIGG‍A FRIED CHICKEN NIG‍GA WATERMELUN NIG‍GA BITCH NIGG‍A NI‍GGA ‍*all the cosplayers eyes turn red* Kahar: nig‍ga what the fuck is this shit ‍*one of the cosplayers jumps at kahar and pulls him down into the croud, as they all surround him* kahar: NIG-AHHHHHHHHH Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin, Boba, Kane, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar brotherhood: o_o Dylan: It's cool i installed like 70 secret exits because I was expecting some shit like this ‍*a ladder magically falls from the sky to the booth* ‍*the brotherhood starts climbing* Price: oh btw I'm afraid of heights jeulin: FOR FUCKS SAKE KEEP GOING* ‍*the invisi-bots have finished with kahar's corpse and are now attacking the ladder* ‍*boba is at the bottom of the ladder* boba: WHY THE FUCK DONT WE HAVE REAL JETPACKS jay: YOUR NOT GONNA DIE TODAY KEEP CLIMBING atom: ALMOST TO THE TOP WHERE DOES THIS GO ANYWAY dylan: THE RAFTERS, I HAVE A SECRET TUNNEL NETWORK IN THE VENTILATION SYSTEM boba: IM SORRY GUYS ITS TOO LATE FOR ME reed: NOOOO WE CAN MAKE IT PLEASE BOBA ‍*one of the invisi-bots grabs boba's leg and pulls him under* boba: IB'TUUR JATNE TUUR ASH'AD KYR'AMUR ‍‍*boba is kill* Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin, Boba, Kane, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar ‍‍*everyone gets up the ladder and dylan pulls it up so nothing can get on* price: whew that was close jay: anyone know what boba said kane: i do jeulin: what the fuck kane's here? dylan: jeulin kane is like our spirit animal why wouldnt he be here jeulin: if he dies im going to kill all of you price: so whats this about vents dylan: oh yeah i copied the viet cong and made a shit ton of tunnels atom: no wonder the AC in this place is so shitty ‍*they enter the vents* jay: where are we going dylan: to the armory gashon: the fuck we have an armory? dylan: yeah but be careful i installed some death traps in the vents too ‍*oreo falls down a hole and everyone watches as invisi-bots kill him* Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin, Boba, Kane, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar jay: the fuck he was here too? gashon: this is why you talk constantly ‍*the group all exit out of another vent into the armory* dylan: gear up motherfuckers ‍*price takes a katana and 2 uzis* ‍*atom takes eight glocks* ‍*‍gashon takes a brick* ‍*reedman takes a scythe* ‍*jeulin puts on the batsuit* ‍*kane takes a mando armor* ‍*dylan takes a baseball bat* Atom: ni‍gga shouldn't you have something stronger? Dylan: I'm the fucking king it'll be okay gashon: thats what you said on doomday dylan: stfu that shit worked out in the end price: so whats the plan? dylan: i have contacted evac we just have to fight to the roof atom: lets fucking do this ‍*the brotherhood goes back into the vents, avoiding the death trap* jeulin: fucking shame man oreo wasn't that bad jay: i wonder if they liked the cookies or the cream? ‍*everyone chuckles* ‍*the brotherhood returns to the rafters of the auditorim and begins walking across while everyone with guns shoot the invisi-bots below trying to clump up and reach the brotherhood* dylan: from here we're gonna take two lefts and then someone will boost me to the vent on that side and its smooth sailing to the roof atom: they're getting fucking close dylan: it's okay i have my long hard wood here to stop them everyone: o_o ‍*an invisi-bot grabs Kane's foot* jeulin: OH HELL NO ‍*jeulin jumps into the swarm of invisi-bots* jeulin: NANANANANANANANANANANA ME ‍*jeulin fights the invisi-bots as the brotherhood enters the vents, it is not clear if he died or not* Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin (?), Boba, Kane, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar ‍*the group enters onto the roof, invisi-bots are visible far below, an attack helicopter is flying towards the con* Dylan: Well I'll be fucked, he actually came through *into radio* daniel where the fuck did you get an attack helicopter? daniel: well as you know we are a peaceful parliament so we got one of our friends to do it dylan: who the FUCK did you get to do this daniel: wikia staff Callofduty4: DROP YOUR WEAPONS, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, AND WALK AWAY FROM THE CONVENTION. jay: oh for fucks sake CALLOFDUTY4 IT'S ME Callofduty4: I SAID DROP YOUR WEAPONS, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE, AIR- ‍*atom shoots down callofduty4 with glocks* ‍*callofduty4 crashes into the convention, killing dozens of invisi-bots who are surrounding the building* everyone but kane: NIGG‍A DAMN ‍*over radio*: This is TK-999, I'm coming in for a bombing run. everyone: o_o ‍*everyone scrambles back into the vents as TK-999 begins dropping bombs on the convention* reed: i wonder where the invisi-bots went? ‍‍*jay looks over into the now empty con* jay: weird... Fishy: SURPRIES ‍*fishy jumps up and eats jay* ‍*‍everyone shoots fishy to death* Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin (?), Boba, Kane, Fishy, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar Everyone: #RIPinpeace Jay price: OH SHIT EVERYONE TAKE THESE PARACHUTES everyone: why price: JUST TRUST ME AND DONT LOOK UP ‍*gashon looks up* ‍*the invisi-bots are hibernating on the roof* gashon: almost like.... bats ‍*everyone parachutes down to ground level* ‍*cosplayer 1 is hiding in a corner* reed: hi there cosplayer: hey reed: you can still ask questions cosplayer: i have one for all of you cosplayer: are you READY FOR FREDDY ‍*cosplayer pulls off mask and turns into slander man* atom: ooooooo_oooooooo slander: there is only one thing we can do to escape this place before it's overrun dylan: what slander: let me correct myself there is only one person we can do to escape this place before it's overrun ‍*lexitanocute walks out from behind slander* jeulin: did someone say meatspin? everyone: o_o i get that joke jeulin: step aside bitches this is my task jeulin: -enters lexi- lexi: -oh- ‍*a portal to the slender dimension opens* price: just like old times invisi: NOT SO FAST BITCHES price: fucking spoke too soon ‍*invisi appears in front of the slender portal* invisi: it's time for you all to die for taking away my precious ChanServ reed: i thought chanserv was my son? invisi: shut the fuck up bitch ghost of jay: YOU, SIR, ARE THE ONLY BITCH HERE *jay appears from inside the portal and drags invisi in* invisi: NOOOOOOOOOOO Price, Reed, Dylan, Atom, Jay, Jeulin, Boba, Kane, Fishy, Oreo, Gashon, Kahar, Invisi ‍*all the invisi-bots are sucked into the slander portal* slander: Thank you, my project is done price: Danie? ‍*slander vanishes into the slander portal along with lexi, leaving the brotherhood alone* Dylan: lets go loot the helicopter everyone: FUCK YEAH the end